Old Filipina Woman: Level One

I have begun my transformation into my final form. It’s not quite as majestic as, say, Sailor Moon.

Believe me, I wish it was. The process has started, however. It began with the blazer. I wanted it to say, “I am a grown-up writer. Look at me! I have stuff to say!” But instead, it says, “I am a grow-up Filipina woman who may or may not be a stockbroker in the day. And at night, I just change from slacks to jeans to show you that I am one of the regular folk.”

Now, that doesn’t seem bad, does it? But with the addition of my new affinity for glasses chains, well. I am at Old Filipina Woman: Level One. I heard the level up noise in the distance.

I’m not going to lie, I love those chains. In my defense, they don’t have big gaudy beads and baubles on them. Right now, they’re just thin chains (yes, I have multiple), with a few minimalist beads or charms on them. And yes, I made them myself. My current fave is my autumn chain. Rose gold with four maple leaves of various autumnal colors: red, brown, yellow, and orange.

You may be wondering, “Gee, Joy. What exactly are the levels of old Filipina woman?” I’m glad you asked.

Level One: Attire screams ‘Business savvy.’ Stern demeanor? Maybe, but not necessary. Round cheeks and cherubic face? Yes.

Level Two: Attire screams ‘Business professional.’ Stern demeanor? Yes. Round cheeks and cherubic face? Yes.

Level Three: Attire screams ‘I own my business. Look at all of my gaudy bling.’ Stern demeanor? Yes. Round cheeks and cherubic face? Yes.

Level Four: Attire screams ‘I have passed down my business to my children. All of my outfits are coordinated in the colors of the Filipino flag.’ Stern demeanor? Yes. Round cheeks and cherubic face? Yes.

Level Five: Attire screams ‘I walk around the neighborhood each morning in yellow slickers and a matching rain hat or in a track suit.’ Stern demeanor? Not necessarily. Round cheeks and cherubic face? Yes, but wrinkled.

Anyway, time to shop for rain slickers.




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