You are about to enter Poplar Cove, Washington. Visitors are allowed access for one week maximum, with each trip ending no later than the following new moon.

Poplar Cove has a strict code of ethics and a stricter set of consequences. The result is a peaceful, enclosed community filled with log cabins, talking spiders with nicotine addictions, elk, and the occasional angry mob. Meet the residents, mingle with the witches, sip on some coffee, fall into comas, and get to know the narrator.

Town bylaws which each citizen, cult member and visitor must follow include:

• Handguns are not permitted. Other types of weapons (including crossbows, large wooden globes, sharp tongues, staplers, and large anvils) are permitted as long as they are not aimed at the mayor.
• Do not question the authorities. Do you know what farce means? Good.
• Never leave valuables unattended. Keep them on you at all times. We are not responsible for the burglaries that happen at the local bed and breakfasts. Our mosquitoes and bees have learned how to pick the locks and we no longer have full access to their mind control chips.
• Do not anger the elder gods. The fire department is incredibly undermanned and they won’t help you anyway.

If you are applying for residence, hand deliver the completed application (below) to the man in the tall tower.